Eurovision Special: Conchita is Unstoppable

The book: Being Conchita: We Are Unstoppable

by Conchita Wurst
as told to Daniel Oliver Bachmann

published 2015 in German, now translated into English by Iwona Luszowicz

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[The Austrian entertainer Conchita is waiting for the results of the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest, when nerves mean she has to go to the bathroom]

The train of my fishtail dress was three metres long and the toilets were at the farthest end of the hall; we did not just run, we sprinted. When I arrived I had to strip down completely because the dress was so tight. But I couldn’t complain – after all, I had designed it myself. It had been created by the ART for ART costume studios in Vienna, which are the best in the world.

The company still employs expert artisans with the traditional couture accomplishments you rarely come across in Europe these days - milliners, seamstresses and costume dyers. My design had certainly needed their expertise. The fishtail dress was made of white glitter-speckled tulle, overlaid with golden lace and covered with Swarovski crystals sewn on by hand.

But now, as I began to get undressed, the microphone clip detached itself and ended up falling into… well you can imagine where.
So what did I do? I had to laugh because the situation was so wonderfully grotesque that you couldn't have made it up if you tried.

Outside in the vestibule I neatly cleaned and dried everything; fortunately, the sensitive electronics had not suffered any damage from coming into contact with water.

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NOTE: Conchita Wurst is the drag queen persona adopted by Tom Neuwirth. Because the excerpt refers to Conchita’s activities, I am going to use ‘she’ and ‘her’ throughout.
observations: Translators are brilliant people, whose talents I can’t even begin to imagine. They can transform a treaty, a political speech, a key scientific document full of technical terms, into another language, every detail accurate and perfect. But, they're not always blessed with fashion expertise. Luckily, the translator of this book made the right decision, and asked me for advice: Clothes in Books can’t speak a word of German, but we do know about glitter-bespeckled tulle and we can understand a fishtail hem. Elsewhere in the book, Conchita describes encounters with top fashion designers Jean-Paul Gaultier and Vivienne Westwood, and again CiB was called in as fashion consultant, to help edit the descriptions.

This might be the blog’s proudest moment.

By now I am worrying about my American & other overseas readers: are you mystified? How could you possibly understand the nature and importance of the Eurovision Song Contest in European life? How could you imagine the moment last year when – well before the show – we saw the Austrian contestant, Conchita Wurst, and knew that the competition was over before she had even sung a note. (And that if she didn’t win, it would be a travesty).

Since then, the world (most of it) has welcomed Conchita to its bosom, and her life has been a supersonic jet journey of personal appearances, meetings with famous people, and sophisticated campaigning for LGBTQ rights. She produced a ghost-written autobiography to be published to coincide with the special 60th anniversary Eurovision contest, being held in Vienna tonight.

And so the autobiography had to be translated from German into English. And this is where we came in.

The book is a fun read, with an individual take on life and a happy ending. Conchita’s alter ego Tom Neuwirth did not have a great time growing up: Tom as a child was interested in clothes and preferred girls’ company to boys, and says there were ‘loud-mouthed attempts to stamp the otherness out of me’. A career as an entertainer was the way out, and eventually Conchita, with her unforgettable image, was born to delight us all.

Some Eurovision winners sink from view and are forgotten. Others, like Abba, take on the world. It seems unlikely that Conchita will be forgotten any time soon.

With thanks to IWONA LUSZOWICZ AND HER TEAM, who gave me the chance to be part of Conchita’s story, and happily introduced me to the fact that the German language has the possibility of the word Glitzerapplikationen.


  1. Well, congratulations on being consulted as the expert you are, Moira! And what an interesting story this is! I've heard of this contest before, but never seen it, and I know very little about it. Still, I can only imagine what it's like, and this sounds like a great 'behind the scenes' look at it, and at Conchita's life.

    1. Yes indeed Margot. When I was younger we thought Eurovision was quite low-rent, and wouldn't have dreamt of watching it - but today's young people have embraced the kitsch elements of it, and started having Eurovision parties and so on. Good for them!

  2. Congrats........but I won't be tuning in, not my cuppa......

    1. It came as a shock to me, as I was explaining to Margot above, when young people started to actually like Eurovision. But I can see the attraction....

  3. Well, I might have been mystified by Eurovision, but we have the Father Ted series on DVD and there is at least one episode featuring Eurovision. I did not know that ABBA had won Eurovision, although it doesn't surprise me. I love ABBA and almost all of their songs.

    How cool that you could help out with the translation. I think I would enjoy this book, should I ever run into it.

    1. That episode of Father Ted is a classic, and despite its outrageousness, would give you a clue about the contest! And yes, the first time most people (outside Sweden) heard about Abba was the contest, many years ago. It's a very strange event, but one that gives many people all kinds of pleasure.

  4. For some reason Eurovision is huge in Australia - well some parts of Australia anyway - perhaps it stems back to when "our Livvy" (Olivia Newton John) sang for the UK back in the 70's (she lost out to Abba but we never held that against her) - and this year we got our own wild card entry thanks to the fact that one of our national treasures - the part government/part private broadcaster that focuses on programming from non-English speaking parts of the world - has been doing a major Eurovision broadcast for many years so "we" got to send an entrant of our very own (as it happens not a popular choice with some sections of our media but really it is only those sections that don't get the whole point of Eurovision). So, having spent many a Eurovision weekend - including some of this weekend - at my local pub which always hosts a special party I am very admiring of you getting to play a role in Eurovision-related activities, especially such a great story as Conchita's

    1. Thanks Bernadette, I knew Australia was sending an entry this year, but didn't know why, so that explains it. I remember reading somewhere once that actually Abba were particularly huge in Australia, was that true. I hope you enjoyed the contest! I always see it as something that adds to the general joy of life, with no real downside.... so that has got to be good.

  5. Moira; Conchita leaves me at a loss for words. I suspect I am not the only person to be stunned.

    I would have expected nothing less from a translator looking for assistance in describing clothes in books than to turn to you.

    1. Thanks Bill. The whole Conchita story is extraordinary, and I am glad to have played my tiny part in it!


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