Dead Rich by Louise Fennell

published 2012

There was an urgent tapping on the garden door. For once, Zelda was quite relieved to see her mother. Things felt a bit uncomfortable.

Cleo didn’t sense a thing. She looked gorgeous in her black Chanel snow-suit with a fabulous, luxurious fur trim and large diamond Cs on the breast pocket. She gave a little twirl. ‘What do you think? For the summit?’

‘The summit! Mum, don’t you think you should be managing your expectations a bit?’ Zelda said archly. ‘Anyway, why are you wearing that now?’

‘Manage your own expectations, Zelda, mine are fine. And I’m wearing it because Milo and I have just done a press call at mine, thank you very much.’

‘Ah, fame at last!’

observations: There’s an intriguing backstory to this book: superagent Ed Victor believed in it so much that he started his own firm to publish it, because it couldn’t find a home anywhere else. Ever ready to mock publishers, I was hoping it would be a great book, one that they were mad to turn down. But sadly, no. I was also under the misapprehension that it was a murder story – but it isn’t really. Someone dies in the book, but it seemed obvious early on who must be responsible.

Everyone in the book is horrible, with the possible exception of a 14 year old girl and a baby – this is why it was turned down by publishers apparently. Everyone is very rich, and behaves in an odd way, and has unreal conversations. There is a complicated family tree, not really worth the effort to keep track of, and many clothes descriptions (usually with brand names included). Adjectives are piled on to nouns:

The early-morning sun was streaming into the vast library, spotlighting an old leather chair.

It’s all a bit like the worst kind of creative writing assignment.

There are many positive Amazon reviews – some people really enjoyed it, found it hilarious and unputdownable. It has sold many copies. So, good for Louise Fennell and Ed Victor.

And I think we can all enjoy the idea and the pictures of the black Chanel snowsuit.